The phenomenon of the traveling fat pants

A change in your home does not need to result in an expanding of your waistline, although there is a definite tendency for one to lead to the other. MICHAEL McCORMICK reports.

 
 

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A change in your home does not need to result in an expanding of your waistline, although there is a definite tendency for one to lead to the other. Upon returning from a stint overseas, many of my well-travelled friends are noticeably more cuddly (for lack of a nicer word) than before they left.

For this reason I decided that, upon landing in London, I would immediately commence an investigation to seek out possible causes for this phenomenon that I have aptly named – ‘the sisterhood of the traveling fat pants’.

It’s taken several weeks and a few greasy kebabs to establish some concrete evidence on the matter, but I am proud to say that I have officially cracked the chubby code. And my ground breaking findings that will revolutionise the field of travel weight gain science can be summarised in six words.

Beer, beer and more bloody beer.

 

More precisely, I believe that the increased consumption of alcohol of traveling Australians is a major contributing factor to the increased caboose circumference of said population.

I know what you’re thinking and I’ll write it so you don’t have to sarcastically groan at your iPhone screen, or scare off potential new traveling companions at the pub.

“Well, duh!”

Now the obvious has been stated, I can move on to sharing some tips on how to continue to indulge your liquid courage cravings, whilst also preventing the inevitable bar fight caused by the button on your jeans bursting off under the pressure of your growing gut and hitting the muscle bound German named Hans across the bar.

First and foremost, get some form of exercise every day and be conscious about what you’re eating and drinking when not out on the town. Again, it may seem obvious but not many heed this simple advice. Alcohol contains a ridiculously huge amount of energy, and beer in particular is one of the most energy dense liquids. Make sure you’re giving your all to burn off that extra energy, pre and post ‘energy loading’ sessions.

Furthermore, alcohol binging severely depletes most of the major nutrients that make the body function at its optimal level. What you feed your body should aim to restore that balance. This leads me to my second tip; try to cook most of your meals.

This means you will need some sort of cooking equipment. Might I suggest an oven pan or two from one of the pound stores. Chop up some veggies, add some cheap cuts of meat, sprinkle some salt and pepper over the top and in to the oven it goes for about 20-30 minutes.

That’s not a bad feed for roughly two pounds (not including the tray). Most supermarkets will have special deals on meat as well so you can make a few days worth while you’re at it.

I’ll only include one more as I don’t want your pint to get warm while you’re reading this. When you’re heading out into the night take only a certain amount of money, say twenty pounds, and leave your debit / credit cards at home. This is more of a money saving tip but all in all if you don’t have the money to buy more drinks then that should be incentive enough to limit your intake (or just buy the cheap beer).

Now to get back to my Double Mochalattechino.

Michael McCormick is a personal trainer based in London and can be contacted at [email protected] for sessions or advice.

 
 

 
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